Let me start by saying that this is not about what happens in the bedroom. Although #3 technically happens in the bedroom, this is not about getting hot and heavy.
I’ve been with my husband for fifteen years and there are three things that we do each and every day without even thinking about it that I feel strengthen our relationship, keeping the romance alive better than flowers or pillow talk ever could.
- Kiss your partner hello. This is simple. When you see each other, kiss. When you get home from work, give a kiss. When you join each other out somewhere, kiss. It doesn’t have to be full of passion, just pucker up and smooch. I can be in the middle of cooking dinner, wrangling kids and feeding the dog, but when my husband walks in the house after work I take a beat to give him a kiss. It welcomes him home and tells him that I am here for him. His kiss to me signifies that he is glad to see me, the woman he married and he’s happy to be connecting with me. Don’t forget to smooch those baby faces while you’re at it. They like to express their joy in seeing you with kisses too.
- Talk. After we put the kids to bed we take a few minutes before we start watching TV, blogging or staring at our phones. We talk. We share what happened at work that day or what we want to do this weekend. Talking gets us on the same page. We know what the other is thinking, how they’re feeling, and what they’re hoping for. If it’s nice outside we’ll go sit on the front porch and chat. We get to look around at the neighborhood and reflect on our life as it is today and dream about what it will be in the future. We never have to ask the other if we can talk about something when it’s weighing on our minds. We are so used to talking and having that time to share that we can say anything to each other. We are so practiced in the art of conversation with each other that it comes naturally. It’s easy to lose this communication time when we have kids with their antics and busy schedules. We always make time to talk for those first few moments that we are alone together each night. Maybe first thing in the morning is better for you. Maybe you can’t get in a conversation every night. Try to talk as often and as regularly as you can, though and you’ll see how strong communication strengthens your relationship, keeping the love you share strong, too.
- I know that this is a super cliche thing to write but never go to bed mad. This one can be hard sometimes. I will admit that I’ve struggled with it in the past. It does not mean to keep fighting all night long until something is resolved. What it does mean is to accept that you disagree, remind each other why you are here together, and know that after a night’s sleep, you can continue to explore your disagreement after some rest, replenishment and possibly a new point-of-view. Tomorrow is a new day and things might look different in the morning.
So those are three little things I enjoy about our relationship and I believe are part of what keeps us going strong. What are the everyday things you do in your relationship to keep it strong?